Trying not to drift apart
by Loz06
Summary: Neil.Andrea. Sequel to 'When they’re approaching the end again'. Though both Andrea and Neil agree they need some time apart, Neil is focused on the future and needs to make sure Andrea doesn’t forget he wants her in it.
1. Chapter 1

_The Easter Bunny is here!_

_O.k. time to put my feet down off the table and wake up my April alarm is ringing, the fans are screaming for more (said with tongue in cheek) time to get back to work._

**Title**: Trying not to drift apart

**Author**: Loz

**E-Mail**: loz06(at)yahoo(dot)com

**Rating**: T

**Category**: Neil.Andrea…And supporting cast.

**Series**: Story number eighteen. What follows are titles and story ID numbers:

_**(1) **After he's at her door – 2486705 **(10) **When they're stuck together – 2611364_

_**(2) **When the mighty fall – 2506192 **(11)** When they're back together – 2619492_

_**(3) **While his wife's away – 2525486 **(12) **Life almost in balance – 2630121_

_**(4) **While they're away – 2543010 **(13) **Life under pressure – 2666280_

_**(5) **When love's not working – 2543013 **(14) **Trying to have a life together – 2699235_

_**(6) **Boundaries when broken up – 2562611 **(15) **Outside influences on their lives – 2704730_

_**(7) **What happens on the train – 2579012 **(16) **When things start falling apart – 2727112_

_**(8) **When they work together – 2595808 **(17)** When they're approaching the end again - 2750079_

**_(9)_** _When she wants him back – 2598312 **(18) **Trying not to drift apart – 2891564_

**Spoilers**: So minor it shouldn't ruffle any feathers. Two things, Andrea's gone (sob) and I'm behind myself so I'm hardly in a position to spoil anyone.

**Archive** (if applicable): www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net(slash)loz06

**Feedback**: The good, the bad and the very ugly it's all appreciated.

**Summary: **Though both Andrea and Neil agree they need some time apart, Neil is focused on the future and needs to make sure Andrea doesn't forget he wants her in his.

**Authors' notes 1: **My explanation for why this story is still going, I enjoy so damn much writing it and the course of true love is never smooth nor is life and for these two characters I feel that's particularly true. That said I do have a vague ending planned…but the time frame for that ending is as vague as the ending itself.

**Authors' notes 2: Clarification:** When I first started writing this story I had missed the episode in which the name Jake Manson was uttered. Actually I didn't know the number or gender of the Manson child(ren). I got lucky picking Neil had one son. I'd read other fics that said Jake though I was never quite sure it wasn't just a created name also. So I created the name Colin which I've grown very attached to and never changed it because it's a name that's been around for a long time as I also perceive the names Philippa and Neil to have been. I almost like it more than Jake because I see Jake as a more modern name given to a child with parents of two older names, then I suppose Jake is the next generation. Then there's also the fact my 'Jake' in this story is much older than The Bill's Jake. Anyway you might like to think of it as this as you read these stories, as I do. Colin Manson's full name in this story is Colin Jake Manson and as I like to think of it on the show - Jake Colin Manson.

Thank you to the reviewer who pointed out I needed to make this clarification.

**Authors' notes 3: **You'll see in coming stories that I'm bringing in more of a support cast, out of necessity really, the story would have to end or become quite boring without them. However they all appear in the context of or to further the relationship of Neil and Andrea.

**Authors' notes 4: Clarification 2: **I freely admit I was peeved (more than that) when I found out the character of Andrea was being killed off. I saw a character that was conflicted by her love for a man that wasn't free to love her and a secret occupation that meant she could never reveal all of who she truly was. Then there is Neil a driven and ambitious man whose softer side we got to see because of Andrea. Mostly I was annoyed because I thought there was so much more that could be gotten out of these characters through the mix of journalist, affair, secrets, wife, colleague knowing, different ranked officers, career, ambition, love. What great drama all those things did and would have further made. Here were these terrifically flawed characters in messy situations, (for me the key to great drama and stories) though since the explosion one might argue Neil still is, I felt cheated by the bomb, there was so much more that could happen.

I know there could never be a happily ever after into the sunset. That gets boring to watch after a while and you tune out (thank god for fan fiction – it plays a great role where all the happily ever after 'boring' stuff can be played out.)

So I (arrogantly) set out to write something that reflected the way I would have liked to have seen it done. In that I have incorporated storylines from the show (though sometimes they were chronologically jumbled) to add a sense of reality if you like (if that makes sense reality coming from a make believe TV world and all) and lets face it there's people out there who write much better things than I, I wanted to jump on that bandwagon.

So I wrote Philippa hopping a plane to go work in the USA, on paper in September/October of 2005, I had no idea the character of Philippa Manson was slated to go to work in Spain as I've not so long ago discovered.

My point is that section of my story(s) I can claim is an original idea that I came up with, it's not a tweaked idea.

**Thanks: **I'd like to send out a big cheers to the new reviewers Lisa Marie, it's always **_really_** nice to hear from someone new and some returning old ones, aerialplug (**_welcome back_**) and last but not least it's **_always_** a pleasure to get a review from my 'groupies' madz87, Meegan Boulton, Phoenix Angelwolf, Gem6, Lornz, Fabio, Stacey Ellen, Chelsee6. Thanks to you all (and the anonymous readers).

**Disclaimers**: Trying not to get myself sued…I have no association with The Bill.

_Now that you've read the longest notes in fan fiction history…on with what you came here for… the story._

* * *

The fact it is Sunday night doesn't mean anything, for six weeks and one day they had run into one another and she'd thought of nothing else but Neil and her actions. She passed him in corridors, saw him working in CID and he'd attended the suspicious drug overdose she'd been called out to. Each time he'd been polite and professional, addressing her as PC Dunbar when they weren't alone, Andrea when they were. He'd never pushed or so much as mentioned their relationship. Andrea was too exhausted to analyse why.

Two dozen red roses rest elegantly in her glass vase. They were from Neil but she couldn't discard them, they're too perfect. A week ago when she got them she'd read so much into them – perfect like she thought she and Neil would be, beautiful but with thorns like their relationship was and now they were starting to die. She wanted to attribute their long lasting qualities to her relationship with Neil rather than their impending death.

On the table next to the roses is a small ornate box where she keeps his letters and emails. Each on she's read more then ten times, sometimes she's cried over the words and sentences he'd constructed in pain, each word she believed. He didn't have to plea for her trust, she believes him explicitly. Her mobile phone has scores of messages stored in it, like the letters she'd listened to them over and over, the pain in his voice upset her but left her in no doubt about whom he wanted, despite his professional demeanour at work. He'd filled a tape on her home phone and when she needed to hear his voice, it didn't matter what he was saying, she listened to the messages one after another.

On the last day of the sixth week the letters, messages and emails stopped.

For six weeks despite his protests to the contrary she hadn't been able to shake all her insecurities when it comes to him.

On the sofa next to Andrea, Cally looks up at her with wide sad eyes. Many would laugh but Andrea knows Cally senses something is wrong, she knows Neil hasn't been around and footsteps outside of the front door of the flat have her charging to the door. She's stuck to Andrea like a shadow even sleeping at the end of the bed and crying when Andrea goes out.

She's hard though.

She reminds Andrea of Neil and she gets a strange pang when she looks at the first photos of Cally then at how much she's grown, as if Neil is being deprived of seeing his child grow. But the link is also comforting and the company Cally provides, her unjudging look and total dependence and devotion to Andrea keeps her going.

Andrea looks at her empty finger, she can see the spot where the ring used to rest, the skin slightly paler than that around it, she knows the spot doesn't exist; it's a figure of her imagination. She rubs the empty spot knowing she should never have given the ring back, it was an impulsive act done in a moment when she'd depressed herself almost to rock bottom. In truth she loves the ring and not just for what it is and how it looks on her hand; it's about the person who gave it to her, what it means and what it took to give it to her even after everything that's happened between them. The return was a cowardly act done when he wasn't there; left so inconspicuously it would escape anyone's attention. What was meant to be a symbolic gesture turned out to be a decision she regrets.

Bruce is close, she can feel him. It'll be no surprise to her if the next phone call is him. She hasn't decided what to do; a part of her was ready to resign for her new life in the USA, what a difference a few months makes. It's not a difficult conclusion to come to that Bruce won't be happy with what he's got from his investment, Andrea's resigned to the fact he'll want something but despite this she's set on life being simpler soon…one job and hopefully a particular man she doesn't have to share in one flat, the latter of the two hopes she knows will take time, it's time she's willing to expend.

Bruce takes priority over Neil, till she's sorted her duel life nothing else can go forward.

Cally's ears pick up with the ringing phone, it takes Andrea longer to drag herself off the sofa, even then she doesn't answer immediately, checking the number that flashes across the screen of her mobile…Bruce. He's going to want a decision Andrea hasn't made for certain yet. He won't be silenced if she doesn't answer, his attempts to contact her will increase and become more conspicuous.

"Can you talk?" Andrea doesn't think he's ever asked that before but something's changed in him recently, his hardened exterior softened, weakening with the information she's been seeing someone, he suspects from the station.

Andrea looks at Cally who lies next to her on the sofa, pressed against her thigh, in her unquestioning loyalty and protection of Andrea. She hasn't been outside for days except to the patch of grass downstairs when nature called; Andrea arranges to meet at the park close to her flat.

* * *

The ball rolls in front of Bruce and stops at his feet, Cally approaches hesitantly keeping her distance but never taking her eye off the ball. Growing in confidence she edges closer waiting for Bruce to pick up the ball and throw it. Out of the corner of his eye he sees Andrea approach and he kicks the ball away in the hope of ridding them of the distraction. He's surprised when the ball comes back to Andrea's feet and she picks it up despite it being slick with saliva, she throws the ball commanding the dog by name to chase after it.

"She yours?" He asks though it seems an obvious question.

"Shared," Andrea surprises herself with the honesty she comes up with.

"This guy, is he living with you?" Andrea doesn't object to the questioning.

"Was almost, we're not together now." The words are hard.

"That'll make it easier." Bruce suddenly sounds distant and disconnected.

"I'll expect you Monday at the office." Andrea says nothing as she repeats the words in her head.

"What will I be doing?" Right now she's not feeling anything but she knows it will hit her soon, she throws the ball again.

"I don't have anything specific for you right now, there'll be something." It doesn't exactly fill Andrea with excitement about the new role. She tries to picture what it will be like to be on the phone all day, chasing gossip or to harass victims of crimes and senior police officers about why they allowed a crime to take place when she knows full well witnesses can be unreliable, evidence sketchy, victims frightened and uncooperative with juries that are sympathetic because the accused has a history of something as benign as bed wetting. There's little comradery in journalism, each competing for the best stories, unlike the police service, it's one of the things she'll miss.

"O.k.," But it's a hesitant one and Andrea knows it's for the sole reason of Neil. To be absent from his life, not able to see him each day and then there's the truth, he needs to know but she doesn't think he needs to be burdened with this on top of everything else right now but it would kill her to disappear without explanation.

"You've got a week to resign." Andrea looks down at her feet where Cally waits patiently for the ball to be thrown. She knows she has to say goodbye but does she tell everyone the truth or would ignorance be bliss.

Andrea can somehow live with her uniformed colleagues hating her…but not Neil.

"I'll see you Monday." Bruce picks up the ball and throws it before heading back to his car.

Andrea doesn't watch him go, instead throwing the ball for Cally till she's worn out, that night she sleeps at the foot of Andrea's bed, Andrea can't sleep. The fact she knows Neil needs to know the truth keeps her awake.

* * *

Since he'd walked in on his boss and his girlfriend with locked lips, Phil had made a point to knock, this time he gets no reply, assuming no one's there he opens the door.

"Sorry Guv, I didn't think anyone was in." Phil stands stiffly watching Neil who sits with his elbows and forearms on the desk twirling a ring in his hands. The door closes gently behind Phil who drops the requested files on the desk. "This is what you asked for."

Neil only nods at the ring and Phil drops into the visitor's chair, "So, Andrea."

"What makes you think I'm going to talk to you about anything associated with my personal life?"

"Well you're right." The admission makes Neil look up. "But you and I used to be friends and I don't think…no I know you've got no one to talk to this about." The words encourage Neil but it takes a moment, he's still cautious.

"I've made such a mess of everything; I've got Philippa on another continent telling me to start divorce proceedings. Andrea doesn't want to talk to me, I had to resort to threats to get my son to live with me, my son who I haven't seen in over six weeks who I'm trying to rebuild my relationship with, my career is out to sea, I…" But anymore is too painful.

"It's called life I've learnt, sometimes you're going along and everything's fabulous and all of a sudden the wheels come off and you feel like you've gone headlong into a speeding lorry."

"I was always so in control." Neil sounds distant.

"Now you know you're human and alive, just as long as no one else finds out about the former."

Neil manages a smile at the joke.

"You know you have nothing on me when it comes to stuffing up, especially where family is concerned, you can't hold a candle." Neil appreciates the candour.

"I would never have credited myself with having some of you in me."

"Gee thanks." Phil is a good sport despite the comment.

"I don't deserve Andrea; I've mucked her around so much, drawn her into my mess of a life."

"I'm sure you've tried to make it up to her." Phil counters.

"An occasional date in the car park," He laughs once perhaps at how pathetic it is.

"Come on Neil she loves you, she's always up here in CID. All those cases she brought to you and worked on, some of it was about you. I watched the way she looked at you after I found out, like you were the only one in the room, I can't believe people haven't noticed. I'm also willing to bet that ring you're turning incessantly in you hand isn't one that Philippa used to wear, it's practically an engagement ring and the only major reminder of you and what you mean to her she has…what are you doing with it?"

"There's also a dog," Neil smiles looking up.

"You had a puppy out of wedlock." Phil puts on a mock tone and look of shock, Neil extends his smile to the joke.

"Cally…she was something that was ours…still is I guess." He concedes.

"Were you living with her?" Phil treads carefully.

"Almost every second night, I still have clothes there…" There's more he's not saying.

"Go on." Phil encourages.

"She started eating my breakfast cereal. I tried to teach her to golf, we played most Saturday's and I was improving her cooking skills." Happy memories, Neil smiles sadly.

"You were more married than Cindy and I and we had the piece of paper to prove it."

"I don't know what I'm going to do about it." For the first time the ring stops.

"Have you told your son?" Phil shifts forward in the chair.

"Telling Colin means telling Philippa." Neil's face betrays the fact it's something he's not looking forward to doing.

"They're going to find out eventually, better for it to come from you," The voice of experience.

"I know she's sick of fighting and coming in second all the time." Neil finds strength, drawn from somewhere. "She has to know my situation is changing and when I'm divorced, I'll…"

"You have to get your own house in order first…then go after her." Phil interrupts.

"I'll be back fighting for her…for the last time." There's new strength and determination.

"You have to give that ring back to her, it's a reminder of you and you want her to think about you every time she looks at her hand."

"Or throws the ball for Cally," Neil adds.

"She might think she wants you to have it back but I'm betting she handed it back after talking herself around and crying for hours over what a bastard you are. But inside her there's a spot that knows it's not true, it's just been shouted down by all the time she's spent convincing herself of your supposed true nature. If you don't give the ring back she gets a bigger message, one that says her fears are probably true, you are giving up, you don't want her, you aren't going to fight, you are the bastard she's labelled you as and all that talking she's done gets set in stone. You give that ring back and that tiny spot of doubt starts to grow in strength and you slowly get back to her." Although Neil believes the words he remains unconvinced.

"You're not the only one who's looked down the barrel of losing it all, the only difference is I did, I mucked Cindy and Christine around and now I've got nothing. Worse no one trusts me because of the mistakes I've made in the past."

"Philippa," Neil asks, it's hard to say her name in the context he does.

Phil shakes his head and there's a moment as he prepares to be honest. "I'm too much in awe of her to ever…it's Sam."

Neil nods once. "Scarred and damaged as well."

"What she's taught me…I'm a better person because of it."

"But your reputation…arrives ten minutes before you do."

Phil laughs at Neil. "Something I was once proud of."

There's silence and Phil senses there's nothing left to say.

"Phil." Neil stops him as he heads to the door. "You were a good sport with some of those comments and I appreciate the advice."

"Good luck Guv."

When he's gone Neil puts the ring back in its box and slips it into the pocket of his pants…return to Andrea.

* * *


	2. Chapter 2

* * *

The first indicator that something is going on comes as Andrea enters the canteen and sees Steve, Amber, Lance, Leela and Yvonne in a huddle. Although she has only a passing interest in whatever they're talking about, Andrea joins them knowing she can't sit alone forever….people will start to ask.

"Hey Andrea," Steve greets and is returned with a quick smile that flashes away as fast as it appears.

"I heard their son is a heroin addict and it's torn them apart." Steve continues with the conversation that started before Andrea arrived.

"No, that can't be it or we would have known by now, he'd have gone through one of the stations in the borough, the gossip would be everywhere, you can't cover something like that up." Yvonne shakes her head as Andrea's interest grows.

"Who are we talking about?" Andrea asks splitting her biscuit into two.

"The DI, he's getting divorced." Andrea stops, how did the news get around, had someone already filed?

"The DI is getting a divorce?" She repeats stupidly, the rest of her body is frozen.

"I heard she spent all of her money and his and he hit the roof, now he's going to take her for what's left." It's Lance's turn.

"One person told me she is having an affair, the other told me he is…with a police officer in the MET." Leela comments and Andrea can hardly breathe.

"That's a little more plausible." Lance comments.

"Apparently she's been seeing a very high profile lawyer colleague and he's been seeing someone in uniform." Andrea feels faint, some look discretely around the canteen for possible candidates.

"The word came down from CID that the DI couldn't live with the father in law thing, you know like being actively engaged in something illegal the MET tries to stop, but his wife and her family sweep it under the rug for the sake of keeping a good life."

It makes the others question but Andrea knows it is one of the bigger conflicts that exists in Neil's marriage. It at least leads them away from the questions of an affair.

"Well I heard the DI enjoys a bit of the same action as his father-in-law does at the same time." Amber whispers conspiratorially. The rest of the group don't have time to rubbish the idea let alone consider it.

"Shut up." Andrea snaps not looking across at Amber but she has her attention and the rest of the table's. "You…" Andrea's tone is one of disbelief. "How could you accuse someone of something like that?" Andrea spits out finally looking at Amber.

"I…" Amber crawls right back into her shell.

"You don't know the DI at all, yet you'll happily repeat a rumour, a disgusting rumour that sullies his name and his reputation so you have something to talk about on refs and so people pay attention to you."

"Andrea!" Yvonne finally says as the others shoot Andrea strange looks because of her passionate protest.

"No, I can't…believe, you make me sick." Andrea stands up and Amber becomes indignant. "You sit here and speculate about someone and make judgements of them, when were you all crowned perfect, who made you judge, jury and executioner?" Andrea bumps her tray as she leaves her untouched cup of tea and biscuit broken in two skittles across the table but Andrea doesn't look back.

In the locker room she sits down on the bench looking at her hands shake, she presses them between her knees and breathes deeply to calm herself. The feelings she has for Neil are so strong that they drove her to defend him which frightens her. She's never experienced anything this strong, especially as it seems she'll go to any lengths, including opening herself up to questions about the type of relationship she has with him. For now she's thankful Tony wasn't there as she joins him in the area car he looks across at her with concern, the word has gotten around already though Andrea's happy to have everyone talking about something else other than Neil's divorce and the reasons behind it.

* * *

"The DI's office, now," It's Tuesday and Andrea is barely through the front door when she's accosted by Phil. He knows he'll be met with hesitation. 

"Is it work related?" Andrea's eyes drift up the empty stairs to the second floor.

"No it's you and me having a conversation related." There's urgency in Phil's words. "Look the DI's not there and if you'll come with me you'll find out why." She has time and for reasons she can't put her finger on she trusts Phil, probably because he knows her secret.

"What the hell are you doing?" Phil asks in a disbelieving tone once the office door is closed.

"What do you…?"

"I've just heard from Yvonne all about your passionate defence of the DI in the canteen yesterday." Andrea's face falls. "Yeah," Phil says confirming the seriousness of the situation.

"Did you tell someone?" Andrea accuses.

"I didn't need to, Philippa is around courts and coppers all day, suddenly she's moving to the USA and there's no resignation forthcoming from Neil, you don't have to be a detective." Phil gives her a look that asks can they get to more important things.

"So people are talking about yesterday?" Andrea asks naively.

"Of course they are, they haven't stopped and soon someone's going to put two and two together and get an affair. You might as well have taken out a full page advertisement in the local rag."

"Shit." Andrea curses quietly; she doesn't appreciate the local paper reference either. "Does Neil know?"

"Of course he does, are you acting naive? He's in with Adam Okaro right now explaining what's going on."

"Shit." Andrea curses again.

"That's right, for someone who doesn't want to talk to Neil you're doing an awful lot of defending." Phil points out.

"I know, I know, methinks thou dost protest too much." Andrea sighs.

"Stay here and fix it." Phil moves to the door.

"Why do you care?" Andrea asks politely.

"Because once people start talking about a scandal the focus is taken away from the good work we do around here." Phil pauses with his hand on the door knob. "You'll finish both your careers if your relationship comes out this way. At least if you tell everyone when Neil's divorced it won't be so much of a scandal. The MET can't afford to lose its good cops." And with that he's gone.

Andrea looks down to the lot wondering how she's going to have this conversation without spending hours analysing their relationship.

"That's where I stand when things aren't going so well." Andrea doesn't turn as the door closes on his words and folders drop onto his desk, "Whatever you're thinking I'm not angry."

"You should be." Andrea says to the glass.

"Why because you defended me…other than the fact it's supposed to work the other way around."

"What did the Super say?" Andrea says finally turning around, it was hard, she's embarrassed to talk about her actions because they so obviously displayed how she feels for him. It's hard to look at him knowing he knows that as well.

"He asked me if I knew why you would be so vocal in my defence and he also asked if the rumours were true."

"What'd you say?" For some reason she actually feels nervous about the answer to this question.

"I claimed ignorance on the first and split hairs on the second and said Philippa and I are separated." Unable to hold her look he takes a moment of reprieve on the work in front of him.

"So the onus is on me to clear this up." She's unsure of why she's angry with him, most likely expecting he would do more for her, but he can't and she knows it.

"You did start this." He reminds her with a smile, treating it all non-seriously. "We're not in a place where I felt being a knight in shining armour would be appropriate."

"Forget it." Andrea says sharply, she reminds herself he's not being unreasonable. Outside factors around them need to settle and fall into place before they can consider picking up where they left off, they can't do things for one another that fall outside the boundaries of colleagues right now.

"Gina Gold is looking for you; she's going to want your side of the story." Neil meets her eyes, there's pain there. "The things is neither one of them believe there's anything going on between us, they just want to stop the talk before it get's worse, it's already malicious, personal curiosity will have Gina asking you why you reacted the way you did."

"That doesn't help me with what I'm going to say." Her eyes plead him for assistance.

"Tell her you got angry about the gossip after all the talk there was about you and I when we were trapped for that night. Drop the word professionalism in there a few times." Neil advises.

"She's going to put two and two together, Inspector Gold's no fool."

"You'll have to be convincing then." Neil smiles warmly and Andrea waits, she's not ready to go out there and face it yet.

"It just came out you know, it felt natural, normal." Once she's said it she realises she shouldn't have but the words flowed out, maybe they needed to, she needed him to know, either way he's still smiling.

"Last week I nearly asked Inspector Gold to task you away from the violence on the estates." Andrea gives him a small smile; she doesn't want to express exactly how happy she is he wanted to take that action.

"Wish me luck." She says softly.

"Can we talk, tomorrow?" From that moment Andrea wonders if the calls and letters will start again, so far the conversation had been without either of them pushing their relationship issues. "Please, I just have some things to explain."

"It's too soon Neil." Her look begs him now to not prolong the conversation.

"You only have to listen." He persists kindly.

"I have to deal with my mess." Andrea doesn't let him get any further, putting the door between.

* * *

"You look like someone who's just escaped the lion's jaws." Andrea jumps as Phil appears to her left. She'd hurried from Inspector Gold's office after explaining convincingly, against the wall she leans her head back and breathes a sigh of relief. 

"I was this close." Andrea's index finger and thumb barely rest apart.

"Did you sort everything out?" Phil looks left and right, shades of Neil's behaviour.

"This isn't a kiss and make up situation; we have hours of talking to do." Andrea near snaps at Phil's underestimation of what it will take to solve the issues she and Neil have, she walks off leaving him a little stunned.

* * *

"Hey the DI was asking where you were." Smithy doesn't address Andrea after he's passed but she stops knowing he's talking to her. 

She remembers yesterday when Neil said he wanted to talk; she'd hoped to avoid him, though she didn't put much faith in him complying with her request not to talk.

"Thanks." Andrea says without intention of being found by Neil. She doesn't need to hear his words, she's read them over and over and to hear them she feels will only upset her. She knows his words are true and his intentions good but she needs space and time and for life to not be so complex anymore. She manages to avoid him for the majority of the shift.

"Just ask what you want Lance." Andrea rolls her eyes when they're one block from the station later that afternoon. He looks across hesitantly at her.

"It's just when I hear you're the DI's adopted daughter after you defend him so vigorously." Andrea laughs out loud at the rumour.

"The DI would have had to have been a child himself when he adopted me, you remember the Willows case, kidnapped child, and the DI and I spending a night locked in a small room, the rumours afterwards."

"Oh." Lance says as the penny drops. "I thought maybe there might have been a little something there." Andrea thinks on her feet.

"That'd be like me asking you if you were attracted to Honey."

"I like brunettes." Lance says after a moment of come back consideration and both laugh together. "Mark worries about rumours and people knowing."

"Life's too short not to stand up for who you are or what you believe in." Andrea says as a car crawls along next to them on the wrong side of the road.

Neil doesn't need the window to roll down for Andrea to see it's him. Lance stops but Andrea takes another two steps, not caring what response her actions illicit. She'll claim ignorance about the car.

"PC Dunbar, I need you to come to St. Hugh's with me to question an accident victim." Only when she's fixed her face to an acceptable look does she turn, she looks straight to Lance who's recognised the unusual situation. "Inspector Gold is going to task you to something else till PC Dunbar gets back, PC Powell." Inside of her Andrea knows it's a horrible lie, smaller in magnitude to the one he's told Gina Gold which could also have serious consequences for him.

Lance doesn't see through Neil and has little desire to question his superior. Andrea flashes a smile as he steps away, when his back is turned Andrea still doesn't move an inch, waiting till he's out of sight and around the corner.

"What's going on Neil?" She splits her focus between him and the corner Lance disappeared around.

"Get in the car Andrea." He leans over and releases the door from its lock. Andrea remains stoic, unconvinced of his professional motives.

"Neil I can't do this now, I can't."

"Get in, I'll drive you around the block and back to the station." She moves to the car, it's something about his eyes, the way he looks like he's remembering all the things he loves about her; it continues to follow her as she gets in and secures her seatbelt.

He pulls away from the curb, carefully crossing into the opposite and correct lane.

Andrea dares to look at him, grateful his focus is on the road and not on her. It doesn't take long for her to realise if this is a trip around the block it's a large one. She feels herself weakening inside; the urge to crumble into tears over someone who would willingly comfort the tears away is strong.

"Where are we going?" She asks and as expected she gets not reply.

"Stop the car." Her voice is small and lacks the force it needs, Neil drives on. "Stop the car." She repeats at a normal level but Neil's eyes don't leave the road. "Stop the car." This time she yells and one tear makes an escape, this time Neil complies.

When the car pulls up she fumbles with the handle feeling herself getting more and more upset with the longer it takes to get out of there.

"Andrea." He calls but she's already got one foot out of the car.

"I'm sorry." He calls over the roof of the car and it stops her, still six steps from where she had gotten out. "I didn't know how else to get you to hear me out."

"So you decided to kidnap me, I should lay a complaint." Andrea turns to face him, remorse that's genuine.

"You won't do that because you'll have to explain why I did what I did."

"That'll be up to you." Andrea shrugs. "What could possibly be so important that you took such a risk?"

"You're right, get back in the car, please." But Andrea needs more. "I don't want to do this out here. You don't have to say anything, just sit and listen."

"I've heard it all before." Andrea shakes her head but doesn't say it angrily.

"This is different, I promise, please, I'll take you back when enough time has elapsed for people to believe we were at St Hugh's." His pleading look wins her over, she takes slow and measured steps back to the car when her radio crackles to life – CAD wants to know where she is. She keeps Neil's lie alive.

"Thank you." Andrea would much prefer if the only way he could do this was to look away from her, not turned in his seat facing her.

She can't find a reply in her as though it might condone his actions. Suddenly he's nervous and unable to retrieve the words he's probably rehearsed for days. Andrea asks herself again what she has for weeks, can she muster the strength to fight again. Last time she'd needed something more from him, an indication of the fact he was serious about her. But she can't go back, the emotional mess she became, the anxiety, insecurity, what it felt like to see him in the corridors, she can't go through that again, she just wouldn't survive.

This time is different, it's a bigger fight and she doesn't know if she has the strength to watch him go through a divorce and stick by him, the allegations of adultery, the finger pointing and blame, the bitter divide – over property, the custody fight and the realisation that Neil's son may never want to see him again, the guilt that would come from that, the feelings of resentment towards her because he's doing it for her whilst losing everything he worked for and in the case of his son loves.

The adjustment to a new life without the familiarity of his wife and Colin, it's inevitable that they'll clash at some point, a trigger for him to go back, on his knees asking for forgiveness?

She needs to sort out Bruce first, come up for air, and get back to a life less complex, without undercover journalism – any journalism, a man without a wife and family. She's made a choice – police officer and Bruce has to go, Neil has to know and Philippa has to fade from her radar.

His words fade back to her, he's looking at her but she hasn't heard anything till now.

"We're divorcing Philippa and I, I'm moving out of the house and into the flat, the house, it's too big for just me." He pauses looking for a discernable reaction; Andrea keeps her eyes out her window to the woman with the young child.

"It's over Andrea, I want to be with you and now I can be." As she predicated tears start to fall. "It's what we've wanted all along, this is what we've looked forward to, it's what's kept us going and kept us together."

"Stop," Andrea interrupts, her tears silently running. He seems taken aback although her words are a soft plea. "No more please."

"Andrea?"

"I can't hear this again, I've heard it over and over in your letters and messages." She's not angry it's just she can't take anymore of the mix of sadness and happiness that she derives from his words.

In his pocket her ring makes itself known.

"You have no idea how much I've wanted to hear you say those words and for it all to be true, how long I've waited. I believed your every word." Out of his pocket he pulls a handkerchief offering it to her. Andrea accepts dabbing away tears that continue to fall; he watches her, his eyes full of intense emotion. "I'm afraid you'll resent me if you lose everything."

Neil shifts his focus out the front of the car shaking his head indicating it's not true.

"Your son may never speak to you again and I don't know if I can live with the fact that would be my fault."

"I would be more to blame than you." Hesitantly he takes the handkerchief from her hand and brushes away a runaway tear.

"I can't do it Neil, I'm not a glutton for punishment, I couldn't stand how it feels, and I'd just be waiting for the next obstacle."

"That's just life, we've gotten this far and the hard part is over." His words are convincing but he doesn't step up to a fight.

"What do you need?"

"Time, space, stability," She doesn't want to say she thinks she needs him to be totally free and for Colin to know about them, all about them.

His hand goes for the ring, he agrees they need time but he needs her to have the ring.

"Take me back please." Her eyes have dried, each time she cries he feels bad but he knows he's not being manipulated. The ring stays where it is.

"You don't want to end this do you?" She reads some fear in his words.

"No, but I need space." Slowly she leans in and kisses him on the cheek and hovers nearby, their eyes closed just concentrating on being close to one another. Andrea's hand rises to cup Neil's cheek. "We need to get back."

Reluctantly they separate, the engine turns over to life, seatbelts cross them both.

"I'm not going to lose you, not when we've gotten this far." He looks across to Andrea. "I love you."

"Good." She manages a small smile. "I love you too."

* * *

"Oi," Gina Gold stops Andrea having parted with Neil at the front stairs. Gina holds the security door open, it's clear she wants to ask how things went but something distracts her, Andrea's blotted red eyes. "Have you been crying PC Dunbar?" 

Andrea thinks quickly on her feet. "Laughing till I cried ma'am, the DI tells the best jokes." Not wanting to have to bear up under further scrutiny she ducks under the Inspector's arm and quickly heads down the corridor.

Gina Gold's copper instinct tells her she's been lied to and there's something more to the blotchy face.

* * *


	3. Chapter 3

* * *

"I've just got to catch the Inspector." Yvonne hurries past Honey knowing she's heading to the pub and Yvonne's invited.

"See you there." Honey calls and Yvonne nods and opens Gina Gold's door. She's wearing a frown as she stares across the room, a half drunken glass of whiskey on the desk, slumped back into her seat.

"Close the door." Gina instructs coming out of her thoughts. Not knowing what it's about Yvonne takes measured actions as she steps to the chair. Gina downs the last of her whiskey looking across to Yvonne and making her nervous. "Half way through the shift today, I had PC Dunbar come back from questioning an accident victim with DI Manson and I would swear she'd been crying." Yvonne takes a minute to absorb the information admitting that a teary face is unusual but not impossible.

"Did she say why?"

"She said they were joking and she laughed till she cried." Gina's voice betrays her scepticism.

"The DI?" Gina nods in agreeance, most of the new officers were sure he'd been born without a funny bone and the longer serving officers saw his sense of humour evaporate quickly after he'd made a good impression with everyone and they were on his side.

"And you don't laugh at your own jokes do you?" Gina adds.

"Could the victim's condition have upset her and she's too embarrassed to say?" It wouldn't be the first time the sight of a badly damaged human had triggered an emotion in a police officer.

"The thing is I can find nothing on this case, no file, notes, computer record and I can't ask Manson because he'll become suspicious that I'm suspicious of him."

"But one of your officers did come back from a job having been crying." Yvonne points out and the two women take a moment to mull over the possibilities. "What are you thinking?"

"I don't know but there's this and the canteen, it was too much and too loud the other day and CID is always requesting her to help them." Yvonne can't deny it's true.

"Do they have her pegged as a future detective?"

"It's possible; she has all the right qualities." Gina sighs. "What do you know about her?" She asks pulling out a bottle for a refill.

"Not much more than you do ma'am. We're friends but really only at work, we don't socialise much outside of the job."

"I meant personally Yvonne." Gina watches the glass fill till the lengthy silence causes her to look up. "Come on out with it. It doesn't go any further than you and I." You don't refuse when Gina Gold uses the tone of voice she is.

"I know she was seeing someone, a married someone." Yvonne pauses, she's said too much already.

"Go on." Gina encourages and although Andrea never specified every one of her words were uttered in confidence, making each of Yvonne's a betrayal.

"Months and months and months ago, I guess about nine I noticed she wasn't coming out as much with us and she was getting messages from someone, she wouldn't tell me who."

"But whatever this is or isn't could have started well before then." Gina considers.

"She was late one morning, tired and wearing extra makeup so I teased her about seeing someone secretly."

"What did she say?"

"Denied it," Yvonne says immediately.

"Hardly damming evidence she may have had a bout of insomnia."

"I stepped it up after that because she swapped a shift with Lance, a Friday one and I suspected she was going away with him."

"That's not good." Gina says taking a sip.

"It gets worse; she said she'd flown up to see her parents."

"Possible but it's along way to go for less than three days." Gina says.

"She came to me when she thought she was pregnant and finally admitted she was seeing someone, I think he must have taken it badly and she was going to end it. That was when I found out he was married with one kid."

"A married man takes the news of a pregnant girlfriend badly." Gina says with mock shock. "You could knock me over with a feather. I might be joining two unrelated dots but the DI is married with one child." Neither woman says anything for a moment.

"The next time we spoke, you were there at the pub, she was getting messages and he eventually rang the pub."

"I remember she said he wouldn't get the hint." Gina recalls.

"She slipped away with him that night, no baby because she was drinking."

"So it was back on?" Gina questions.

"I'm not sure but not long after that we went to the movies and the DI and his family came up to us and were talking with us and she excused herself hurriedly and went to the ladies."

"What did she say afterwards?"

"That she wasn't feeling well but all those dots I have are fitting to make a particular person." Yvonne admits.

"Let's not jump in yet, what else?"

"There was that cigarette you gave her, in the yard, she'd broken up with him and there were ten rumours going around."

"But none involved the DI." Gina remembers.

"A while later she was happier, said they'd had words that put a wedge between them, it was also about the time CID started asking for me instead."

"Great." Gina says not happy, she takes another mouthful and Yvonne feels she could use one as the two women sit and cook up an affair.

"After that art and antiques case she was happy, said she was getting on with her life."

"Or she lied and they were back together." Gina looks increasingly uncomfortable.

"After the Scotman baby case she stayed behind with the DI to review the CCTV footage from the front of the building."

"O.k. but that case affected her and now I know why so maybe we shouldn't read anything into it."

"I didn't." Yvonne admits.

"Then there was the anti social behaviour conference, I didn't notice anything strange and they couldn't have planned anything because the DCI had to pull out at the last minute." Gina remembers.

"It gets better if you like, after that she broke down and cried, said she'd seem him shopping alone but he was still married and she wanted him back, she loves him."

"Jesus." Gina reaches for her bottle again and another glass for Yvonne.

"Thanks." Yvonne says nursing her drink.

"There were those rumours after the Willows case, the child abducted by her father." Gina continues.

"That was just talk and she was so embarrassed when you admonished the relief." Yvonne counters. "Not long after that I was at her place and she took a phone call in the other room, she didn't deny she was back together with this married man."

"She's never said a name or anything about him?"

"Other than married with one child, less than a week later she tells me his wife found out about her and threatened her."

"Why didn't she report it?" Gina asks astounded.

"She said she had just as much to lose as his wife did."

"Only if her man is a copper," Gina blows a breath past her lips, like Yvonne she knows circumstantial evidence is pointing in a direction neither woman wants it to go.

"Then again we were at the pub not a short while back and they sat next to one another and only spoke when he got up to help her with the next round."

"Anyone can pretend not to know someone so well, were they long getting the drinks?"

"A few minutes but he left after that, she left maybe fifteen minutes later I think, I was on my way to being pretty drunk."

"A well timed exit?"

"But I remember him saying he got a call when getting the drinks." Yvonne's memory is hazy.

"You think it was his wife asking him to come home?"

"I don't know." Yvonne shrugs. "The weirdest thing was I called her sometime after that to see if she wanted to go to the movies but she didn't answer and when we got there Leela saw her in the ladies loos."

"And you don't go the flicks alone." Gina says like it's a rule.

"Or to those that are across two boroughs and have couples seats." Yvonne adds. "Have you seen the ring?"

"Not lately." Gina has a light bulb moment after searching her memory.

"It's apparently from her family; she picked it out when she visited them that weekend."

"It's almost an engagement ring." Gina says disbelieving.

"I wanted to set her up on a blind date on her birthday but she declined."

"So would I." Gina laughs once, "Nothing personal."

"She's got a dog now, I puppy-sat for the weekend just recently, I'm sure she went away again."

"It's going to be fairly obvious unless she starts to put the dog in a kennel." Gina comments. "If it's an affair we're talking about they're taking big risks to spend time together."

"The last thing I heard was he had called her and said his wife was divorcing him and taking their child to the USA, he was going too and she thought he was ringing in the hope she'd say she'd go with him." Part way through Yvonne's words Gina freezes.

"What is it, ma'am?"

"We need to find out where Philippa Manson is now."

"You don't think…?" Yvonne cuts herself off.

"After hearing all that especially the last bit I do, I'll pair you two up tomorrow; see what you can get out of her."

"Ma'am she's my friend." Yvonne protests.

"Exactly, she trusts you with her secrets." It's the last position Yvonne wants to be in. That night she drinks to try and dull the guilt of what she's about to do.

* * *

Thursday morning Yvonne waits for Gina Gold like she's been summoned.

"Morning," Gina chimes and Yvonne stiffens.

"Ma'am I don't feel comfortable doing this." Gina Gold looks up from the work on her desk.

"Oh come on Yvonne, you're a concerned friend asking a few pointed questions." Gina sighs.

"The DI is still here, he's not in the USA." Yvonne points out.

"That may be because of PC Dunbar, she could have told you any lie, you never heard the phone call." Yvonne doesn't reply, remaining uneasy. "Go on, off you go."

Reluctantly she does.

Approaching High Street, Yvonne looks over at Andrea wondering if it could be possible. All potential scandals aside she doesn't want to judge her friend, love comes in may shapes, forms and places.

"What?" Andrea asks reminding Yvonne she's staring. She doesn't want to but now is as good a time as any.

"What was that all about the other day in the canteen?"

"Not you too, it was nothing." Andrea averts her eyes hoping it will be the last of it.

"It's just people are saying stuff about you and the DI." Yvonne is careful to sound concerned, not suspicious.

"You don't think very highly of me then if you think I'm involved with a superior and someone like Manson." It's still light, a small laugh in Andrea's voice.

"What do you want, your guy is married." As soon as she's said it Yvonne realises any friendliness will evaporate.

"He's gone, it's over." Andrea stops, facing Yvonne. "What's this really about?"

"I'm just trying to look out for you." Yvonne claims knowing this time it isn't her major motivation.

"No, I think you like to pry, have some inside knowledge no one else has." Andrea accuses as the conversation fast develops into uncomfortable and a little nasty.

"No, it's just I have to drag everything out of you, once it's out you feel better for having talked about it." It's not totally a lie.

"Well I don't need you mothering me anymore, you know everything there is to know, and I can't believe you'd think I'd keep things from you." Andrea walks on annoyed at her friend. "It was about the rumours if you must know and I'd do exactly the same for you." She stops and turns, a few paces from Yvonne.

"It all fits Andrea." Considering that things have disintegrated already, Yvonne takes the chance but Andrea's fallen look hurts.

"You don't believe me." At first she says it quietly like she can't believe it herself. "It all fits except one thing, he's still here…I can't believe you don't believe me."

"Andrea." Yvonne immediately regrets it all.

"No, don't talk to me, I can't believe you don't trust me, that you don't believe what I'm telling you." Andrea says annoyed.

"Fine, don't come to me if you need to talk to someone in the future." For the rest of the shift Yvonne remains one step behind Andrea.

* * *

"She's no longer speaking to me." Yvonne says without preamble when Gina walks into the sergeants' office and closes the door. The Inspector cringes but that's it.

"So it didn't go well?" A stupid statement really.

"She reacted angrily to my questions and maintained it isn't or wasn't the DI."

"What did she say about the little incident in the canteen?" Gina positions herself next to the filing cabinets.

"That she was angry about the rumours flying around."

"Same one she gave me." Gina sighs and takes a minute to think, Yvonne's only happy to not have to say anymore, she wants to wash her hands of the whole thing.

"What do you think the probability is that they're having an affair?" Gina asks Yvonne the question she never wants to have to answer.

"Our evidence is circumstantial but it's all pointing in that direction." Yvonne admits.

"Or it could just be a co-incidence." Gina counters but doesn't believe it herself, "Or not."

"The question is do you want to get involved? Do you want to know?" Yvonne presses.

"Like ignorance is bliss," Gina interprets. "No I don't want to know a scrap of detail; I wish I didn't know everything I don't know for sure now. But if anyone ever found out there'd be repercussions for them, the station and the MET."

"But if we're right they're being very discreet." Yvonne argues.

"Or lucky or they've covered well." Gina comes back, the constant throwing up of theories and possibilities makes Yvonne feel like there should be a case file in front of them.

"Did she ever talk to you about a future with this guy?" Yvonne takes a moment to scan her memory.

"No, but I saw how upset she was when they were broken up - if they are together now it's for the long term and she'll marry him."

"Not what I wanted to hear Yvonne, if that is the case and it is the DI it's going to be messy." Yvonne can see the headlines and the media pounding at the front of the building.

"If this is long term they must have a plan."

"I don't know, the tears make me think yesterday was a fight." Gina admits.

"He's divorcing so it can't be pretty for either of them." Yvonne assumes. "They've got to love one another ma'am."

"If that's the case we've got to get one of them out of here before the media finds out and ruins the relationship and there's a scandal for the MET, either way our DI Manson is going to have a hard time making Superintendent if this comes out the right way, let alone the wrong way."

"I hope that's the last thing on his mind." The two single police officers soften at the thought of such a sacrifice for another. "We can't just push one of them and we have no real proof, if we go to them with it, it could be very embarrassing for everyone."

"Oh, I'm sure." Gina affirms and Yvonne shoots her a questioning look. "I found out just before I came in here that Philippa Manson is living and working, with her son, in New York."

Yvonne sinks; it's their strongest indicator yet. "What now?"

"We keep it under our hats, not a word to anyone, keep watching them and we'll figure something out." Gina sighs with the burden she doesn't want.

Andrea doesn't think that night about Neil, she feels physically incapable. Instead she punishes herself about Yvonne for being so severe, she's been nothing but a good friend and Andrea tells herself she over reacted.

* * *

"Oh PC Dunbar," Gina Gold's eyes immediately check Andrea's middle left finger, as her PC approaches Gina looks for clues not expecting anything.

"Ma'am."

"DI Manson wants to see you in his office." Although there's no more information Gina wants to see Andrea's reaction.

"Did he say what for?" Gina has to hand it to her; if there's something between them it's not obvious right now. Her suspicion would have been further fed had Andrea not asked what it was about.

"The Clarke case," Gina purses her lips; it's the name of the supposed accident victim. There's no discernable reaction on Andrea's face.

"Thanks ma'am." With a flash of a smile Andrea goes back to work. She knows the Clarke case is a lie, a convenient code Neil's using to get her to his office. Knowing the Inspector is none the wiser about the true nature of the request, Andrea has no intention of going anywhere near CID, let alone Neil. For now they've said everything there is to be said.

It's sunny outside and she'd rather be there with Leela than going another emotional round of conversation with Neil.

At the end of the day it all catches up with her.

"Andrea?" There's more than slight annoyance in the Inspector's voice. Andrea immediately goes into denial that this is about Neil in anyway. "Did you forget something?"

Andrea looks at her belt but sees nothing missing.

"The DI, he wanted to see you this morning, he's very angry, you're holding up the case." Andrea's thoughts don't reflect the regretful look.

"I'm sorry ma'am."

"It's not me you need to apologise to PC Dunbar." There's little chance that will happen. "Why haven't you been to see him?"

"I'm sorry, I've been busy and I forgot." There are at least ten other more specific and better reasons Gina Gold can never know.

"It doesn't look good PC Dunbar, forgetting senior officer's requests." Gina lectures.

"I'll get right on it." Andrea lies; she still has no intention of going to see Neil. She looks at her watch, a half hour until the end of her shift. "I have to type up my notes and then it'll be the last thing I do before I leave."

"Now PC Dunbar," Gina says incredulously watching Andrea walk towards the second floor stairs. She spies Yvonne coming towards her having stopped to listen to the exchange between her friend and the Inspector. Gina Gold's head tilts towards her office, indicating she wants to talk, Yvonne obliges.

"The DI came to me this morning, asking to see PC Dunbar about this phantom case." Gina rounds her desk and sits down.

"So the case exists?" Yvonne questions.

"Well you tell me what you make of this; she never went to see him." Gina purses her lips in a what-do-you-think-of-that manner.

"Career wise that's pretty stupid," Yvonne admits.

"But if you know the case doesn't exist and you've just had a fight and you don't want to talk to someone, you ignore their requests." Gina supposes.

"Did she give a reason?" Yvonne finally sits.

"She forgot." Gina's tone is one of someone who's unconvinced. "When I asked her to go to him again she said she wanted to do her paper work first."

"Not her usual enthusiasm for CID, even if the case upsets her she wouldn't avoid it." Yvonne informs Gina who agrees.

"The good thing from the perspective of the media scandal is they seem to be apart right now." Gina offers little comfort for Yvonne who on the inside wishes she could be there for her friend.

"We can't count on that lasting; her feelings for him are strong." Yvonne reminds the Inspector.

"Let's wait and see if things settle down and they get back together, then we'll cross that bridge." Yvonne nods with the suggestion and stands up.

"I'm going to lose her friendship over this." Yvonne says more to herself than anything else.

"It's lonely at the top." Gina reminds her.

Andrea walks the long way around the station and spends the last of her shift doing paperwork, she escapes saying little to anyone…she's just glad to be out of there without coming across Neil.

* * *

The tiny ache inside of her grows stronger as she sits in her car outside the station with the engine running. She's tired, avoiding Neil is hard work and deep down, in that spot where the ache is, she knows she wants to stop. Stop ducking and weaving, hiding and avoiding, making excuses for why she can't do what he wants.

She is annoyed at the juvenile and dangerous way he went through Gina today but she wants to stop being irritated by it already. It will take a little longer for her to believe he thought she'd fall for the fact he said he went through 'official channels'.

At least the rumours have died, there's a new flavour of the week and someone and something else to talk about. She'd carefully measured her actions and reactions whenever she sat in the canteen with colleagues who almost looked like they were waiting for her to open her mouth again. It never happened.

As she drives she realises she's still upset with Yvonne, for not believing her, though she was lying. It's coupled with the knowledge she still needs to apologise, the olive branch or perhaps tree has to be extended by her, Yvonne's been too good of a friend to her she doesn't want to lose her.

She's running out of time with Bruce and she's still not sure how she's going to extract herself from her undercover job and an editor who rarely takes no for an answer and fights every way he knows how for what he wants. Possibly fighting to keep her on board.

So much for a life less complex she thinks finally as her car points in the direction of home.

Her living room is lit up and she has no recollection of leaving it that way, a little on edge she turns back to the door locks assuring herself she needed her key to turn in the lock to get in. She hears the rustle of his coat.

That forewarning doesn't stop her letting out a short, sharp screech in surprise.

"You scared me." Her tone annoyed she closes the door. "What are you doing here Neil?"

Her keys and bag drop on the table and she surveys the room, unsure of what she's looking for, roses or other sentimental gifts. Nothing has been touched.

"You can't avoid me forever, at all in fact." There's nothing else in his words, just raw fact that Andrea knows.

"What you did today with Inspector Gold was dangerous and she noticed I'd been crying the other day when I got back with you."

"She's got no proof." The handkerchief of his he'd given her to wipe away her tears she'd washed and put with the rest of his things in her drawer.

"I thought we said all there was to be said, I thought we agreed on some time."

"We did." Andrea had been expecting more of a fight, she was ready for it and now she doesn't know what to say. It occurs to her this isn't the same as last time they were apart and he needs time as well, "As much as you need."

"I didn't give you a key so you can put pressure on me whenever you feel like it." Irritation in her words is as close as she comes to anger.

"I don't want to talk about us, we agree, there's no more to say. I want you to have this." He holds out the velvet box and instantly Andrea knows she's going to give into his requests, she almost always saw handing it back as a mistake.

"I can't." Andrea shakes her head vigorously. "It's symbolic of a point in our relationship we're not at anymore."

"A point in our relationship we're going to get back to in time." He reminds Andrea and steps towards her to place the box on the table. "I love you and I bought it for you for that reason. I still love you so I want you to wear it, there's no reason for you not to other than you want to get back at me for something and I know there's no reason for that."

Andrea looks at the box on the table feeling herself weaken.

"Promise me you will." Her eyes don't leave their spot.

"There are things about me you don't know." Her eyes can't meet his.

"What are you married?" Neil jokes but it doesn't lessen the seriousness of the situation for Andrea.

"Things you won't like." For a moment she considers telling him the whole truth and as he watches her, hesitant hands reaching to cup her face she knows he can see her conflict.

"You think that matters to me?" He smiles and shakes his head reconfirming. "You think that's even a blip on my radar?"

"Neil." She protests softly but his words cut off hers.

"I know there are some things about me you wish were different."

"It's bigger than that, things I can't change." Andrea shakes her own head, his hands still holding it.

"It doesn't matter."

"It will." Her every fibre screams the words she's said even louder. Unable to hold his look her head drops with the heavy burden of what she is. "You should go."

"Because you want me to stay?" She detects a small amount of hope in his voice.

"Because I need you to," Her eyes plead for him to co-operate without protest.

"Please wear the ring." His lips press lightly against her forehead, hands dropping to his side. "Bye."

"Bye."

The ring remains where he left it until she heads to bed for the night. From her bedroom door she looks back at it, barely visible against the dark of night. She relents, picking it up and putting it on her bedside table…she knew she would.

* * *

To be continued…In the next story. ID - 2912317 


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